Seeing Red
by FirstThingsLast
Summary: I couldn't help but wonder why red was the color that represented Valentine's Day. I also couldn't help but think that maybe the universe was out to get me because the irony of the color was nothing short of cruel. /Crenny Fic, Cryde undertone. Kenny pined for Craig, but Craig can't get over a red clad brunette. Short, one-shot. Fluffy.


A silly holiday, that's all it was. One where people would shower each other in materialistic items to show their affection or make up for a lack there of. It had never been his favorite holiday, but this year was even worse. The person he wanted was out of his reach. Pinks and reds flooded Craig's vision where ever he seemed to go as a reminder, though the shades of crimson were ever to present year round.

A warm color, accompanied by a gentle, charismatic smile. If they were alone, the gentle caress of rough fingertips would follow, tracing the very outline of Craig's body in the most sinful of ways until all he could see was the brilliant hue. It was something he was used to, something he needed, craved. Nobody would ever know though, because what they were doing was nothing short of ignorant.

Clyde had a girlfriend. She was beautiful, popular and smart, someone that people looked up to. If she ever found out, they'd both be ruined, shunned by everyone. In a way, he wanted that because they'd have no choice but to be together.

Rationally, seeing Clyde was a mistake. He was basically eating rat poison, longing for someone that would never admit that they were gay, let alone fall for him. He knew this, and everytime he woke up beside him, he swore it'd be the last time. The familiar color paired with skilled hands made it so his conviction would fade when the time came though. He didn't need Clyde, in reality, but the want controlled him. It was a hunger for danger.

I could read then situation like a book.

I pined for Craig, practically begging for attention from the noirette and offering an escape from the slow death he endured. It was too easy though, and Craig told himself he hated me more than he really did, or so I liked to believe. He didn't want to give me the satisfaction of getting what I wanted, he was stubborn and maybe even flat out stupid.

I knew about the other two, about what they did together when no one was around to catch them. Clyde found out that I liked Craig and told me in that ever smug, nasily tone of his. A smirk adorned his lips, taunting me because he had what I wanted and there was nothing I could do. He knew that I wouldn't tell, I couldn't bring myself to ruin their lives like that. In the end, I wasn't sure if I was more pissed off about the fact that he didn't even want Craig, or the fact that Clyde talked about him like a piece of meat. He said things like 'he's not the type you want to hear talk, just moan'. I really wanted to hear both.

If there was a chance to only listen to one, I'd sit with Craig and talk about whatever came to mind. I hoped conversation would come easy if we ever did, and I imagined that even though I'd have to do most of the talking, Craig would still feel comfortable listening. Maybe we'd find out we both had things in common, that we actually got along pretty well in the grand scheme. Maybe I'd be able to hold him, give him the comfort he really needed instead of the touches he used as a vice, and just maybe he'd begin to talk back.

That thought kept me from getting discouraged, pushing myself forward even on days like today, driving me to do something I'd never done before. I vowed that Craig would be his first real relationship.

I had never been one for the holiday either, the reds disgusting me more this year because of Clyde's stupid sweater. I could see Craig's ambition draining more and more each day as Clyde showered his girlfriend in expensive gifts and gave nothing to him, not even in secret.

It was first period science, and I insisted on sitting beside the smaller, dejected boy. Craig scooted away in an attempt to prevent conversation that came anyway.

"I wish someone would give me candy." I said in a dreamy, playful manner that made Craig's nose scrunch up in disgust.

"Fuck off." he rebuttled, eyes fixed forward even though I was sure that he could feel my eyes on him. "Don't talk to me next period." he added, next class one we also shared.

I sighed, perhaps over dramatically, eyes staying fixed on Craig a couple seconds longer before my gaze moved to the teacher in front. "I'm just trying to keep you company, Tucker. You always look so lonely. That and I'm honestly interested in you."

My words finally got a hold of the other and he looked to me, brows furrowed. It wasn't what I wanted to see but what I'd expected. "So you want to fuck me?"

I blinked a few times before giving a look of disgust of my own. My blood started to boil as if I was out in the sun. "You don't get it, I'm not like Clyde." The words came out with more venom than I wanted them to. I stood from my seat abruptly, drawing everyone's attention, even the bane of my existence, that stupid red clad boy. "I'm using the bathroom, sorry." I said loud enough so that the teacher, and the rest of the classroom, could hear frustration evident in my tone unintentionally, every pitch of each syllable. The teacher nodded and I left with that conformation, but not before seeing the shocked look of Craig's face. His skin had noticeably paled further than it usually was.

I made my escape from the stuffy room, making my way towards the end of the hallway where the bathrooms were. I needed to wash my face or something because I almost lost it. I didn't want to be compared to what Clyde was, what he wanted from Craig. We had totally different agendas and I hated that he couldn't see that.

A door opened and shut somewhere behind me, the thump of footsteps quickly approaching. I didn't bother to look, it was obviously Craig. He didn't think anyone knew about their personal time but I shattered that illusion.

"Kenny.." he said my name in an attempt to gain my attention, but I ignored him. For the first time, roles were reversed. I pushed past the heavy, swinging door to enter the cold bathroom. He repeated my name a little more loudly, grabbing my sleeve this time, trying his hardest to pull me so I was facing him.

I turned, shooting him a glare. "What? You don't want me to talk to you, right?"

"What was that shit about Clyde? Dont go spreading rumors--"

"We both know it's not a rumor. Your smug friend told me all about it personally. Something about how you're not even as good as his girlfriend so he doesn't know why he does it." I turned back to the sink, seeing his mouth hang open in the reflection of the mirror before I turned the knobs for the water. His grasp loosened, hand falling to his side. I splashed my face a couple times, drying it on the collar of my t-shirt as I turned back to him.

"I...it--" he started to stammer out, his face softened with some sort of sorrow.

"Whatever." I reached into the pocket of my tattered orange parka, pulling out loose chocolates I'd been saving to give to him throughout the day. I dropped them at his feet as I passed by, pushing on the door. His back stayed towards me as he stood frozen. I stopped, looking at him over my shoulder. "If you want to continue to be someone's second choice, go ahead. I won't stop you. I hope he gets you something, for your sake." I muttered before disappearing completely.

The day went on and I didn't see him for the remainder of it, instead met with the excuse that he was sick in the horses office. It wasn't until lunch period that he resurfaced, sitting at the lunch table across from Clyde. He pushed his food around thoughtfully, his expression different. He didn't laugh at any of their stupid jokes like he normally did, nor did he slyly insult Bebe and act like it was a joke. He just stared at the cheap food presented to him via the school chef.

Gym class was the same, Craig standing around silently instead of hanging at Clyde's side like a lost puppy. He grew more lethargic the further into the day we got until he was practically sleeping. I think what I said had gotten to him. It was eating him away the more that he thought about it, the rat poison finally bringing his demise.

Maybe I had over reacted, and I couldn't help but think that my emotions had gotten the best of me. I was expecting too much, like I'd thought that Craig would just love me back because it was Valentine's Day. But maybe this was the only way to get through to him. In the end, I couldn't decide if I'd done the right thing or not.

I exited the school, completely disappointed. I couldn't really confront him and apologize when I had acted like a child having a tantrum because I didn't get what I wanted.

Wendy run past me, my feet coming to a halt to keep my body from colliding with hers. Stan was at the edge of the path, waving to her with a box of chocolates in his hand, a balloon in the other. I watched as he handed her both, a blush tinting on both of their faces. She giggled happily, making banter about how much she loved the stuff he'd gotten. I was so envious and took a step to hurry away when she lost grip on the string.

"Stan! Get it!" She exclaimed with fear of losing it.

He scrambled to grab the end of the ribbon but all that touched it was the very tips of his fingers, the wind carrying the heart shaped balloon off. I watched it drift away until it was nothing more than a speck among the clouds. Something inside of me snapped at the sight and the sudden arguing it caused between the two who had just been happy. I didn't need anything from Craig, I didn't even need him to love me, I just wanted to be with him.

With that thought, I quickly started running until my lungs ached. Even then, even when my legs began to burn, I kept going. I needed to see Craig, to apologize and ask for his forgiveness for being such a damn child. I didn't make it but halfway to his house when I saw him coming in my direction though.

"Craig." My pace slowed to a jog, walking, and them a full stop. He stopped in front of me, staring up at my face with the same blank expression he always wore "I'm sorry about what I said earlier.I just--"

"It's fine, Kenny." he muttered, shrugging his shoulders, hands still stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie.

"If Clyde is what you want, who am I to be selfish. Who am I to say you can't just be sexually involved with someone. I just care too much and get caught up in my emotions." I rubbed the back of my neck.

He suddenly kicked one of his feet upwards, the toe of his shoe ramming forcefully into my knee and catching me off guard. I immediately let out a noise, leaning down to rest a hand on my now sore knee. "What the--"

"Shut up." he said softly, the sound of rustling causing me to look up at him and see a box of chocolate extended in my direction. "I was gonna give these to Clyde, but I thought about what you said and he doesn't deserve them. He never did, really. I should give them to someone who matters so that it's not a meaningless gift like most gifts are on Valentine's Day, so I'm giving them to someone who puts me first." he shoved them into me, cold orbs averting to the side as he tapped his foot anxiously. "Are you gonna take 'em or should I just eat them myself?"

I blinked a few time before busting out in uncontrollable laughter, grasping the box in both hands. He looked back to me, brows furrowed. "What's so funny?" his voice was laced with annoyance.

I shook my head. "Nothing, you're just really unpredictable. I love that about you~" I shifted to pinch the chocolates under one arm, offering my free hand. "How about we go somewhere and share them? I won't do anything weird, we can even sit out in public if you wanna."

He scoffed but took my hand regardless. "No way." he muttered, scaring me momentarily before he added, "Let's just go to my house."

I could see the tint of his cheeks changing, matching the very color that flashed everywhere. He insisted it was because of the cold but I always knew otherwise. I still hated red, as does he now, but I can't seem to get enough of that shade of pink.

Ironically, we spent the hight watching Red Racer reruns and talking. I told him that I loved racing, and we started a long conversation from there. It was about nothing in general, but it came easily and that was all I ever wished for. No awkward silence or forced topics, and he talked to me like we'd been friends for years. We didn't need to kiss, or touch each other, though that would come later; this was perfect.

He asked one thing of me after that, and that was to give him his present properly next year.

It made me regret the way I'd thrown the candy at him, in a way, but it also meant he planned on a next year.

I think that Craig likes Valentine's Day more than he'll ever admit too.


End file.
